First off, let me just say that I have never worked with Adele and I have never even met her, so all that follows is based solely on what I have read or seen of her. This means we have the same information, since I assume you know who I am talking about. She did just win a few Grammys!
So this is what I know: She is very clear that her recent album “21” evolved out of a “rubbish relationship” and she believes she needs to take time off from her work to focus on her new relationship in order to give it a chance to succeed.
First lesson from Adele is that you can create something beautiful out of a problem, a crisis, a negative in your life. This is exactly my point in my work with clients. We cannot avoid pain in our lifetimes and we cannot control everything around us, but we have total control over what we DO with our situation at any moment (our thoughts and actions). Adele’s choice to write about her bad relationship and turn it into music worked brilliantly for her. Not only did she recently win 6 Grammy awards, but she is adored by her fans who connect with her songs. Adele shared her pain in her unique way and it resonates with so many in the world.
The next time something goes wrong in your life, however big or small, look for how to turn it into something positive for yourself. Are you going through a divorce? How will you recreate your life? Unhappy in your job? What do you want differently? How will you choose to deal with your feelings? Any time that we experience discomfort or pain, the universe is telling us to pay attention, be conscious and make a change. Adele shows us one way to create from chaos, but there are as many ways to do this as there are humans on this planet.
The second lesson I want to point out here is that being successful in one area of your life does not guarantee you will feel successful in all areas of your life. Focusing on only one part of you will eventually lead you to wanting to make a drastic change or you will suffer some pretty uncomfortable feelings such as frustration, depression, apathy, pain and often many physical symptoms as well such as sleep problems, stress and a decrease in your health. If you don’t pay attention to all of who you are, something will try to get you to pay attention at some point.
This is why I would love to work with Adele!
Adele is proposing to take time off from her career (maybe not based on recent articles, but she’s thinking about it) in order to spend more time on her new relationship. Oh how I would love to work with her right now when she is deciding how she wants to create this personal side of her life. I would ask her questions to stimulate what she really wants and how this fits in with her gifts and her dreams for her life. I would work with her to be very clear about how she envisions all areas of her life so that she could take the exact steps she wants to take going forward. I would help her to integrate all of who she is so that she would be fulfilled personally and professionally and feel successful in all definitions of that word.
Hard to know what she will actually end up deciding to do, but check out this quote of hers from Vogue "I am f****** off for four or five years. If I am constantly working, my relationships fail. So at least now I can have enough time to write a happy record. And be in love and be happy."
Two things stand out: She isn’t really thinking of taking off entirely. See that part in there about the “happy record”? And, she has herself convinced that when she is working her relationships fail. What if she knew how to be happy, be in love AND make her music as she wants to?
Same goes for you! Are you spending too much time on your personal life or professional life? Have you sacrificed one area of your life for another? It doesn’t’ have to be that way.
Think I could convince Adele to join my new Women's Group Virtual Coaching series that starts March 6, 2012?
What response do you have when someone asks you about yours? I push against it. I say I don’t “do” them myself, but then, I always have been secretly rebellious. I want my actions to have meaning in my life, so doing something because everyone else is doing it holds little interest for me.
However, I DO believe that the start of a new year is a natural beginning and I love to review the last years and reflect on where I want to go. Although I may not call them New Year’s Resolutions, I do set intentions for myself in the coming year.
When I set these intentions, I intend to achieve them, so I do not take it lightly. I may want to reach a particular goal, yet know that this is not the year. In that case, I put it on the back burner and focus on what I feel absolutely needs to happen in the next 12 months. This is one of the ways that I manage to make my “resolutions” a reality.
I have worked with so many people that want to set goals, at the New Year and at other times. I often try to talk them out of it if they don’t seem to be set up to make it happen. I notice that they love to talk about their resolutions, but are less committed to talking about how to make them a reality.
That may sound strange, but I don’t see the purpose of saying you will do something unless you intend to do your best to make it happen. Yes, things out of your control will arise and many other forces will push you to maintain the status quo. However, by setting yourself up to be successful, you have done much of the work already.
One of the biggest obstacles I see to attaining one’s goals is the lack of follow through. You can have a lot of inspiration, motivation, desire, clarity etc… yet this does not equal follow through. Follow through is the hard work part of setting goals.
If you are a runner like me, follow through is getting up at the horrible hour of 4:57am in order to meet a group for a long early morning run (notice I said 4:57… I wait until the very last minute and can get ready fast!). I may want to run a strong race, be motivated to do my best, be inspired to be the best runner I can. However, in order to reach that goal, I must follow through when I don’t feel like it, when I am tired, when I’d rather be snuggled up in a warm bed. This is the unsexy part of goal setting and most people ignore it.
However, by focusing on follow through, you increase the chance of attaining your resolutions dramatically. This is why I am offering a Master Your Life Women’s Group (sorry guys, you may have your chance soon) which will help 10 of you attain the goals you have set this year. Read more about this teleconference by clicking HERE. If you are interested, do it soon as I want to keep the group small!
In the meantime, here is a tip to help you get closer to attaining your resolutions! Be aware that follow through is an integral part of reaching your goals and it isn’t always fun or easy. In order to increase the likelihood of following though make sure you:
- Outline clear action steps to reach your goal
- Set up one or more people who are willing to hold you accountable for these action steps (very different from reminding you only of your goal because they will help you follow through with each step)
- Identify all the obstacles you can imagine that will stand in your way and make a plan for busting through them
We will be exploring these steps in detail along with some other strategies in the Master Your Life group starting March 6, 2012 so check it out if you want to make your resolutions a reality!
And please share this with friends if you think they would be interested and post any comments below about what works or doesn’t work for you while taking action toward your goals.