"Not now", "Later", When I finish...", I can't because..." What we are usually saying is "NO".
Sometimes we are putting off responding to a request because we feel uncomfortable just saying "no" (that's another topic!). Much of the time, we are saying "no" to ourselves, to our dreams, to our plans that we actually WANT. We are so caught up in the day to day tasks that we lose sight of our journey, our mission.
When we get pulled off our path, when we lose our connection to what really matters most to us we often have the following emotions: frustration, fear, confusion, despair. We feel unmotivated and have a sense of going through the motions day after day. Our bodies feel achy, our energy is low and our mind is foggy. There is a sense that something is missing and life feels flat. Why do we stay in this place? Most of us are waiting for it to change and we somehow think this will just happen some day. However, when you feel this way it is actually an indication that it's time to get back on track, it's time to reconnect with what serves our greatest happiness, it's time to take action! YOU need to take the first step.
When we take action that brings us more in alignment with our mission, our purpose, we feel a sense of mastery over our lives and a sense of ease. Our emotions shift to feelings of peace, joy, gratitude, excitement, success... We become more efficient in our work and in our homes. Our bodies might feel lighter and more energized and our mind is very focused. Everything just seems to click into place and details seem to take care of themselves. Life is fun and fulfilling and we make things happen!
So, what are you waiting for? Here is a quick and simple process you can use NOW to get back on your path TODAY:
- Write down EVERYTHING you have to do (you can take longer if you need to:-)-empty your mind of all the "to-dos",obligations and committments you have in there.
- Now make a list of the people, dreams and goals that are most important to you in your life. Do this with intention. If you meditate, meditate for a few minutes then write them down
- As you go through the day and you have choices to make about how you spend time, money, energy etc... Ask yourself this simple question: "Does this support the projects, dreams, goals, people that (who) are most important to me in my life? If the answer is "yes", you know you are on your path. It the answer is "no", time to readjust...
Are you noticing that when things change in your life, you might not be handling it as well as you would want to? Do you wish you could transition more easily so you can move forward and not get stuck in the past?
A transition means we are experiencing some sort of change in our life. This could be a promotion, a death in the family, marriage, divorce, a job loss, a move to another country, retirement, a new project, an injury or illness in oursleves or a loved one or any one of a myriad of possibilities. Sometimes the transition is within our control (i.e., we choose it) and other times it is out of our control. Research shows that even if we want the change, we still experience a certain level of stress with it.
When we experience a transition in our life we often feel anxious, scared, worried about the future, frustrated that things didn't happen the way we had anticipated and we feel like we are losing control (or we are already out of control!) The strange thing is that these emotions usually trigger us to respond in ways that make the transition even MORE difficult and can lengthen the adjustment period. I work with people to make the most out of these transitions, no matter what they are (join my mailing list to learn more http://bit.ly/1OneWorld).
For the moment, follow these 5 steps to decrease the stress surrounding transition and to speed the adjustment period:
- Be clear about what is within your control and what is out of your control
- Write down the stuff that is out of your control and let it go! (I know you might not want to, but try it)
- Look for the opportunity in the situation (What can you create from this new situation?)
- Write down 2-3 specific actions you will take to use the transition to your advantage (look for the good, the positive and the opportunities)
- Do it!
This may seem very simplistic, but the fact is that most of us spend WAY too much time on the stuff that is OUT of our control. When we can let that go and focus on that which is within our control, identify specific actions we can take that will position ourselves to take advantage of the transition, we will regain a sense of purpose and direction even when parts of our lives are undergoing major change. Within each transition is an incredible opportunity to grow and push ourselves to our limits. I'd love to hear how you do this in your own life!
Does that seem like a strange question? Have you thought about it recently? Who are YOU as a leader?
Have you given up on yourself because others view you a certain way? Has society, your teachers, your family, your friends, your coworkers and even your kids already decided who you are and you have bought into it? Have you ignored, neglected or forgotten some of your passions and dreams? As a leader, you will have the greatest impact when you are able to integrate all parts of who you are and when you are able to be with yourself and with others fully present and authentic.
I attended my younger son's graduation from 6th grade last week. He attends Santa Barbara Montessori School http://www.sbmontessori.com in California and is entering into the Erdkinder class which is made up of 7th and 8th graders. He is fortuante to be in a learning environment where his whole being is supported and he can learn to lead from his own strenghts, passions, desires and weaknesses. He and his classmates, along with the 8th grade graduates all gave a speech. These were 11-12 year olds and 13-14 year olds. Do you remember yourself at that age? Not exactly the easiest thing to stand up in front of a bunch of adults and the rest of the kids in the school and inspire them through your words.
Each speech was as unique as the child who created it. The audience laughed, cried, felt moved and felt the impact these young people are already having in the world. This is not about "doing" a charity or "performing" for a grade or an award. This is about being authentically who you are, embracing it and being the best you can be. It is about connecting with yourself, your heart and your soul. From this place you feel strong and from this place you will have the most impact as a leader. So whether it was the young man who embraced his nerdiness and lack of athletic desire or the young woman who stated that she will qualify for the next Olympics or any of the other kids embracing their musical talents, humor, wit, intelligence and their unique stories... they were inspiring.
So, just as my son quoted Confucius in his speech, “Wherever you go, go with all your heart.”
- Take 1 minute right now,
- Write down 1 current situation where you want to go with all of your heart, be more fully present
- Write down 2 actions you can take this week that would allow you to do this
- Notice what happens within you and with others over the next couple of weeks
And thank you for reading my blog!