What Can We Learn From Adele?February 21, 2012
First off, let me just say that I have never worked with Adele and I have never even met her, so all that follows is based solely on what I have read or seen of her. This means we have the same information, since I assume you know who I am talking about. She did just win a few Grammys!
So this is what I know: She is very clear that her recent album “21” evolved out of a “rubbish relationship” and she believes she needs to take time off from her work to focus on her new relationship in order to give it a chance to succeed.
First lesson from Adele is that you can create something beautiful out of a problem, a crisis, a negative in your life. This is exactly my point in my work with clients. We cannot avoid pain in our lifetimes and we cannot control everything around us, but we have total control over what we DO with our situation at any moment (our thoughts and actions). Adele’s choice to write about her bad relationship and turn it into music worked brilliantly for her. Not only did she recently win 6 Grammy awards, but she is adored by her fans who connect with her songs. Adele shared her pain in her unique way and it resonates with so many in the world.
The next time something goes wrong in your life, however big or small, look for how to turn it into something positive for yourself. Are you going through a divorce? How will you recreate your life? Unhappy in your job? What do you want differently? How will you choose to deal with your feelings? Any time that we experience discomfort or pain, the universe is telling us to pay attention, be conscious and make a change. Adele shows us one way to create from chaos, but there are as many ways to do this as there are humans on this planet.
The second lesson I want to point out here is that being successful in one area of your life does not guarantee you will feel successful in all areas of your life. Focusing on only one part of you will eventually lead you to wanting to make a drastic change or you will suffer some pretty uncomfortable feelings such as frustration, depression, apathy, pain and often many physical symptoms as well such as sleep problems, stress and a decrease in your health. If you don’t pay attention to all of who you are, something will try to get you to pay attention at some point.
This is why I would love to work with Adele!
Adele is proposing to take time off from her career (maybe not based on recent articles, but she’s thinking about it) in order to spend more time on her new relationship. Oh how I would love to work with her right now when she is deciding how she wants to create this personal side of her life. I would ask her questions to stimulate what she really wants and how this fits in with her gifts and her dreams for her life. I would work with her to be very clear about how she envisions all areas of her life so that she could take the exact steps she wants to take going forward. I would help her to integrate all of who she is so that she would be fulfilled personally and professionally and feel successful in all definitions of that word.
Hard to know what she will actually end up deciding to do, but check out this quote of hers from Vogue "I am f****** off for four or five years. If I am constantly working, my relationships fail. So at least now I can have enough time to write a happy record. And be in love and be happy."
Two things stand out: She isn’t really thinking of taking off entirely. See that part in there about the “happy record”? And, she has herself convinced that when she is working her relationships fail. What if she knew how to be happy, be in love AND make her music as she wants to?
Same goes for you! Are you spending too much time on your personal life or professional life? Have you sacrificed one area of your life for another? It doesn’t’ have to be that way.
Think I could convince Adele to join my new Women's Group Virtual Coaching series that starts March 6, 2012?